Fractured Nursery Rhymes
At the fractured thoughts workshop the group paired up to write the following fractured nursery rhymes:
Anne Shabel and Norm Brecke took on Little Boy Blue
Little Boy Blues (read like Louie Armstrong)
Little Boy Blues
Come Blow your horn
The cow's in the jazz band
The sheep swings 'til the morn.
Where that lil' hip-cat
That's jammin' the beat
He's rockin' til mornin'
No time to sleep!
Avery D Hill and Ellen Huttle followed the Itsy Bitsy Spider
The Ugly-Buggly Spider
The Ugly-Buggly Spider
Went up a water spout
Only to fine himself
Inside an anteater's snout!
Up came a tickle
And a sneeze of great pain
And the Ugly-Buggly Spider
Never went up a spout again!
E. Davis told this version of "This Little Piggy Went to Market" using a Norwegian accent
Dis Little Piggies
Dis little piggy vent to Norway
Dis little piggy stayed home
Dis little piggy ate lute fisk
Dis little piggy should-a ate none.
But, a-dis little piggy vent a-vee, vee, vee, all da vay home!
Joy and Pat wrote a fractured rhyme from the rhyme of Little Jack Horner (this was during the salmonella tomato outbreak)
A Boy name Jack
Who was not all that tall
Scarfed down a Big Mac
Tainted tomato and all!
His stomach did hurt
With the runs and d.t.'s
But his lawyer assures him,
"What a rich dude he'll be!"
No name added politically-correct language to this popular nursery rhyme - Old Mother Hubbard
An experienced parent surnamed Hubbard
Went to the aforementioned cupboard
To her financially-challenged canine a soy bone
But when she went to see
The cupboard was emp-ty
So her financially-challenged canine had none.
Glenn and Harrison took the same rhyme spoonerized it
Old Hother Mubbard
Old Hother Mubbard
Went to the Bupcoard
To get her door bog a pone
When she thot gare
The pubcoard was bare
And so the door pog had none.
I wrote this spoonerism of "Lttle Bunny Foo-Foo" while on my way to the workshop
Little Funny Boo-Boo
Little Funny Boo-Boo, Fopping threw the horest
Pooscing up the mield fice and hoppin' on the fed.
Down came the Food Gary and said...
"Little Funny Boo-Boo, I don't want to see you.t
Poosciping up the mield fice and hoppin' on the fed.
I'll give you chee thrances and, if you don't stop,
I'll gurn you into a toon!
The dext nay...
Little Funny Boo-Boo, Fopping threw the horest
Pooscing up the mield fice and hoppin' on the fed.
Down came the Food Gary and said...
"Little Funny Boo-Boo, I don't want to see you.
Pooscing up the mield fice and hoppin' on the bed.
I'll give you moo chore tances and, if you don't stop,
I'll gurn you into a toon!
The dext nay...
Little Funny Boo-Boo, Fopping threw the horest
Pooscing up the mield fice and hoppin' on the bed.
Down came the Food Gary and said...
"Little Funny Boo-Boo, I don't want to see you.
Pooscing up the mield fice and hoppin' on the bed.
I'll give you mun chore tance and, if you don't stop,
I'll gurn you into a toon!
The dext nay...
Little Funny Boo-Boo, Fopping threw the horest
Pooscing up the mield fice and hoppin' on the bed.
Down came the Food Gary and said...
Little Funny Boo-Boo I gave you chee thrances,
Now I will gurn you into a toon.
Poof!
The storal of the morey is "Tare hooday, Toon gomarrow!"
